Thursday, 21 July 2016
For the first time in my life I have A Job - a career ladder, a 9am-5.30pm, a corporate wardrobe (well, what passes for one with me). And my god, this shit is tame.
Here's the thing, I'm not a wild-child by any means. While I went out a lot during and after uni and had a damn good time, dancing all night, I was never wild in the dry ice, tequila slammers sort of way. But I have always felt, in my soul, like a wildling. Even if my version of a wildling is more Miss Tiggy Winkle than Miley Cyrus.
But now I work 9-5.30, Monday - Friday, something that I'd never done before or ever really expected to do. While I am happy to have a job and very grateful for the opportunities it offers, it is still taking some getting used to.
On my week off, Rich and I spent a lot of time outside, exploring the New Forest, picking fruit for homemade jam, heading down to the beach for ice creams and stomping about through the woods. And I realised that I need more of that.
A sense of freedom for me is getting away from the every day, tramping through fields and coming home with messy hair and grubby toes. Throwing open the windows and sleeping with the wind billowing the curtains and swirling through our bedroom. Walking the 4.5miles home and going straight past my road to the sea, to soak my aching feet.
It's hard, in the workaday world, to get off the daily treadmill. Goodness knows that I am tempted most evenings to simply flop on the sofa, knit a couple rows and watch Homeland. But that is tame and not something that makes me happy.
Am I as wild as I once was? Not quite, but I'm working on it.