One of my favourite things is collecting words from other languages, which don't really translate into English. One of my favourites is the German word Fernweh which refers to a homesickness for a place you've never been. Kormorebi which is Japanese for the dappled light through trees. Tsundoku is another Japanese word, describing the way in which we often buy a book, only for it to languish on the To Be Read pile. I literally keep these words in a tiny notebook because I love them and find them so interesting.
I've also come across, in my empty afternoons of googling, the French phrase 'Tu me manques'. This is the French equivalent of 'I miss you' but actually translates closer to 'You are missing from me.'
This is something I've liked for a long time, as it feels so much more descriptive than 'I miss you.' But now I am living with the full force of that phrase. Rich's absence has manifested as slight insomnia - I find it hard to fall asleep and often wake up confused about the amount of space in the bed - and a sudden emptiness to my evenings, while I create a new, solo routine.
But yesterday, the gentle pangs developed into a full blown physical ache. Perhaps because I am due to see him tomorrow night and the closer it gets the harder it seems to become.
'Tu me manques' seems appropriate today.
You are missing from me.